Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It was like giving head to a cactus.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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