Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
