I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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