Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
