Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
