i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Please don't give away my fajitas
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
