So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
