I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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