Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
