Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
