bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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