I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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