69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
