no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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