Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
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That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
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This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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