I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dignity is for republicans.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
