Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
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Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?