i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
