Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone. http://tfl.nu/1akv
  Replies (12) Good night (1303) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination. http://tfl.nu/f55n
  Replies (4) Good night (3352) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed http://tfl.nu/avah
  Replies (9) Good night (1590) Bad night (4424)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again. http://tfl.nu/j7t8
  Replies (19) Good night (4610) Bad night (1582)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus. http://tfl.nu/isnl
  Replies (5) Good night (3457) Bad night (1040)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become http://tfl.nu/8je0
  Replies (6) Good night (2887) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy. http://tfl.nu/np1e
  Replies (3) Good night (3670) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots. http://tfl.nu/uyhv
  Replies (9) Good night (836) Bad night (1904)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/l6fh
  Replies (2) Good night (1420) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home. http://tfl.nu/3pgq
  Replies (31) Good night (585) Bad night (2331)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over. http://tfl.nu/zav4
  Replies (1) Good night (757) Bad night (1476)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well. http://tfl.nu/esbu
  Replies (5) Good night (1039) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour... http://tfl.nu/y7yu
  Replies (5) Good night (290) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair! http://tfl.nu/4980
  Replies (5) Good night (521) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream. http://tfl.nu/ohie
  Replies (6) Good night (327) Bad night (1015)

Randomize