BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.