Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

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  (303): woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night? http://tfl.nu/lo5l
  Replies (19) Good night (5280) Bad night (1044)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.

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  (317): I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking. http://tfl.nu/ymvd
  Replies (52) Good night (3952) Bad night (1081)
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  (707): View more from California

  You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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  (707): You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/2b7s
  Replies (6) Good night (4345) Bad night (1286)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."

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  (905): He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING." http://tfl.nu/odsi
  Replies (3) Good night (2338) Bad night (1048)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.

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  (281): I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home. http://tfl.nu/pc90
  Replies (8) Good night (2504) Bad night (956)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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  (815): sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/z8wo
  Replies (6) Good night (2012) Bad night (1124)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

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  (309): Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls. http://tfl.nu/n0fo
  Replies (7) Good night (2506) Bad night (1123)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.

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  (785): I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail. http://tfl.nu/ahrd
  Replies (5) Good night (888) Bad night (1994)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.

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  (203): a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away. http://tfl.nu/13eg
  Replies (10) Good night (2282) Bad night (861)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

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  (414): i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome. http://tfl.nu/5y9x
  Replies (2) Good night (1173) Bad night (495)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up

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  (270): Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up http://tfl.nu/1xaw
  Replies (3) Good night (1035) Bad night (621)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.

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  (610): My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help. http://tfl.nu/86v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1552) Bad night (656)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.

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  (778): And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again. http://tfl.nu/11c3
  Replies (2) Good night (928) Bad night (313)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on

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  (309): Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on http://tfl.nu/7ltw
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (397)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?

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  (740): how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours? http://tfl.nu/wt9v
  Replies (6) Good night (335) Bad night (210)

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