like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
