I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
