R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
