girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
