i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
