I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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