And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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