hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i think i just lost a toe
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
