I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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