I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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