i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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