DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
operation harelip BJ is a go
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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