just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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