She is in my trunk
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
