I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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