Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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