Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
