I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
