i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
