Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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