she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
ttyl tear gas
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize