I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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