I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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