wat bout pragnant strippers??
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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