Im at strip club and am horny
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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