Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
