Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
His hands were made for my vagina.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
