After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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