if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need to sanitize my soul.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
