can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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