i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
