Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
COCAINE IS GR8
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
