theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
