Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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