worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
