You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
