i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
