you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
