The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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