arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
