how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
