Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
