so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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