i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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