btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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