he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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