Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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