ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
