that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
