so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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