Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
