My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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